


Falling Slowly

by carmillalives (wvrlyearp)



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-16
Updated: 2015-03-14
Packaged: 2018-03-01 17:14:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2781221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wvrlyearp/pseuds/carmillalives
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU very very slightly based on the movie/musical Once<br/>aka that one where Carmilla is a street musician and artist!Laura falls in love with her</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i don't know you (but i want you)

     
    The first time she sees the musician in the square Laura becomes enamored with her. She's standing there shaking her head along to the music that she's making and the late afternoon sunlight which is bleeding through the spaces in between buildings makes the woman look almost angelic. Laura can't make out the words to the song that she sings, but the chords from her guitar ring out through the square. The song sounds like heartbreak from afar and Laura wants nothing more than to ask the musician what it's about. She can barely make out her features from the spot where she stands, but she can tell even from a distance that she's beautiful.   

The next day as she walks home from work, she ventures a little closer to the girl, close enough that that day she can hear the lyrics to the song that she sings and can see that she was right about her being beautiful.  
   

 Laura watches her every day as she walks home from work. She stands in the same spot every day, not talking to her but watching as she strums her guitar and sings, the open guitar case at her feet full of spare bills that people have thrown at her feet throughout the course of the day. When she has the money she'll put something in the case, stopping for a minute to listen more closely and occasionally share a glance and a nod with the musician as she continues to play whatever melody she has on the mind.  
She's never said anything to her but she feels like the girl has become an important part of her day, and on days when she walks through the square and doesn't see her she can't help but let a frown cross her features. She wonders if she's noticed her watching every day.  Somehow it has become the highlight of her day to watch this beautiful stranger make music on the street as she walks home from work.  
Laura aches to draw her properly. She's found herself sketching the mysterious street musician on many occasions, frowning as she gets the line of her jaw or the slant of her eyebrows not quite right. She has pages in her sketchbook dedicated to her eyes, her nose, her lips, but she can't quite get her whole face to look just right. She crumples up half of  the sketches that she makes of the girl but some she keeps, hiding them away under her bed so that her roommates will never discover her bizarre infatuation with a woman who she's never even spoken a word to.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
    The weather that day is abysmal. The rain is coming down in sheets, pounding against the side of the small restaurant as Laura wipes down the tables as she nears the end of a hellishly long shift. Everybody else has gone home for the night. It had been slow and she had offered to close up, waiting as the last few patrons trickled out before beginning to wipe down each table and chair, humming to herself softly as she works. Suddenly she hears the soft sound of the door opening and her head snaps up, already beginning to say a clipped "Sorry, we're closed." as she looks up to acknowledge the would-be customer.  
She's standing there soaking wet, a sheepish grin on her face and her guitar case slung over her shoulder as she drips water on the clean floor.  
"Hey, cutie." the girl says,  
"I don't suppose there's anything a girl could do to get a cup of coffee at this hour, is there?" the woman says with another smile, shrugging her shoulders slightly as Laura stands there with her mouth hanging open.  
"Um-" She starts, getting cut off as the girl starts to speak again.  
"Hey, I could help you clean up after." She suggests, running a hand through her damp hair. "I'm just really desperate for a coffee right now."  
And Laura shouldn't make exceptions for cute musicians with infectious smiles because rules are rules but she somehow finds herself pulling out a chair for her and making a promise to be back in just one minute with a coffee. The face that the girl makes as she wraps her hands around the drink and takes a long sip is almost worth the fear she feels at having broken the rules.  
The girl sighs and closes her eyes as she takes another long drink before setting the cup down on the table in front of her.  
"That really hits the spot." She says, finally taking a moment to really look at Laura, recognition crosses her face and Laura inwardly cringes at the fact that this girl has probably just realized that her stalker has served her coffee.  
"I know you." She muses, picking up her coffee cup and taking another sip.  
"Really? I don't think you-"  
"You come and watch me every day. Right over there." She says, pointing in the general direction of the town square. Laura nods sheepishly and stares down at the rag in her hands, pretending to scrub at a spot on the table. She shrugs.  
"You're very good."  
The girl laughs and extends a hand towards Laura.  
"I'm Carmilla, by the way."  
"Carmilla," Laura repeats, falling a little bit in love with the way the girl's name feels coming out of her mouth. She realizes she probably looks like an enamored schoolchild just standing there staring at Carmilla and she opens her mouth again to give her own name.  
"Laura," Carmilla repeats, taking Laura's hand in her own and shaking it softly. "a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance."  
There's silence for a moment as Carmilla relinquishes Laura's hand and she drops it back to her side. Carmilla takes another long drink of coffee and quirks an eyebrow at Laura as she sets the cup down.  
"So, how come you never say anything?"  
Laura shrugs again and avoids making eye contact with Carmilla as she swirls around the dregs of her coffee in her mug.  
"I guess I just never had the words."  
Laura looks up and she's nodding with the ghost of a smile on her face.  
"Words are hard."  
Laura laughs a little at this, shaking her head as she finally resigns herself to not doing anymore cleaning and slides down in the chair across from her.  
"Aren't you a songwriter?"  
"That I am." Carmilla replies, shoving her coffee cup to the side and folding her hands neatly on the table.  
"So how can you say that words are hard?"  
There's another moment of silence and Laura thinks she can literally see Carmilla formulating a response in her head.    
"Lyrics are a different kind of words, you know?"  
Laura shakes her head because really, she doesn't know.  
"I mean it's like..." Carmilla gestures her hands vaguely in some vague implication and Laura knits her eyebrows a bit.  
"When I write a song about something, it's after the fact. It's- it's a reflection on something that's already happened, you know? Words are hard in the moment but after something's already happened? It's easier to find the words then."  
"Is that cathartic for you?" Laura finds herself asking as she watches Carmilla pick at her nailbeds.  
"Sometimes," Carmilla smiles sadly "but sometimes it just hurts."  
There's another silence as Carmilla gets this kind of faraway look in her eyes and Laura longs to ask the girl to tell her her story, to learn why there seems to be so much sadness in the soul of this girl.  
"I didn't mean to overstep." Laura says, effectively breaking the silence. Carmilla looks up from her hands.  
"You didn't." She says, a look of surprise on gracing her features. "I'm afraid I just let my memories get away with me."  
"Good ones or bad ones?" Laura says, thinking she knows the answer but asking anyways.  
"A little of both, I suppose. But the bad ones have gone and spoiled all of the good ones, in a way." Carmilla gets that sad and distant look in her eyes again and Laura itches to reach out and take her hand. Suddenly Carmilla's head snaps up, looking at the clock.  
She stands up, gathering her things and putting a few crumpled dollar bills on the table.  
"I should go." She says, running a hand through her drying hair.  
Laura nods and inwardly berates herself for always seeming to ask all the wrong questions.  
Carmilla is halfway through the door before she turns around,  
"I promised to help you clean up." She remembers, watching as Laura pushes in their chairs.  
"Don't worry about it." Laura replies as she takes the mug from the table and gathers up the money.  
"Are you sure? I really don't-"  
"It's fine. Go home, get some rest." Laura says, gesturing towards the door with her free hand.  
Carmilla smiles as she turns around and starts approaching the door again.  
"I'll see you around then I guess. Thanks for the coffee, Laura."  
"Anytime."


	2. The Rain

Laura works an early morning shift the next day and is done around four. It's mid-December and the time of year where the sun always seems to be rising or setting. No matter what time of day it is it always manages to be in your eyes, reminding you that you're getting closer to the shortest day of the year and a hellishly long winter. As she prepares to walk past Carmilla, she wonders whether or not she should mention something to the other girl. She doesn't know if their meeting the night before was some sort of one-time only chance connection or if it had the potential to be something more. A friendship would be nice, more would be even better. As she stands in her normal spot several feet away from Carmilla, the other girl abruptly stops playing and singing and squints against the sun in her eyes.  
"Laura? Is that you?" She says, waving a hand at Laura, who stands dumbfounded, her feet rooted to the spot. She clears her throat and takes a few tentative steps towards Carmilla until the gap between them is substantially smaller than before.  
"You're done early today." Carmilla states, a hand resting on her brow to help her see despite the glaring sun.  
Laura nods.  
"I worked the morning shift." she replies, crossing her arms over her chest.  
"That's too bad," Carmilla says, glancing at the sky, "It looks like it might rain again. I thought I'd come and see you."  
Laura feels her heart pound painfully against her ribs as if it might burst out of her chest and she swallows so hard she thinks that it's probably audible.  
"Well- Maybe tomorrow?" She squeaks out, pretending to become incredibly fixated with the way her untied shoelace looks framed against the dark pavement.  
She hears Carmilla chuckle and looks up to see the girl smiling good-naturedly at her.  
"That depends, is it meant to rain?"  
Laura doesn't answer, choosing only to shrug and raise her eyebrows at Carmilla with a smile.  
"I guess we'll just wait and see then?" Carmilla says, and it almost (almost) sounds like a date.  
"Maybe we'll get some snow." Laura says in reply, turning on her heel and starting to walk away as she hears Carmilla's laugh (which is quickly becoming one of her favorite sounds) behind her. As she walks away, she thinks she hears Carmilla playing a new song. It doesn't sound so much like heartbreak.  
It rains later that night.  
    Laura spends the whole next day hoping for rain. She agrees early on in the day to close up, praying that Carmilla will show up at the end of the night with a devilish grin and a request for coffee. As the hours inch on and the day stays bright and sunny if albeit cold, she feels a sinking sense of disappointment at the near-perfect weather. She closes up as early as possible and begins her walk home, stopping as always to listen to Carmilla playing on the street. During an instrumental break in one of her songs, she turns to Laura with a sort of apologetic smile on her face.  
"No rain today."  
"No rain." Laura echoes, tilting her head to the sky and looking at the shining stars.  
"Maybe tomorrow."  
She doesn't often take photographs, but she wishes at this moment that she had one of Carmilla, backlit by the flickering streetlamp above her, her head bowed as she focuses on the clear chords of the song which she plays. Laura thinks it to be the new one she heard the previous day, but she hasn't heard any of the lyrics yet so she can't quite be sure. She wants to ask Carmilla about it but is afraid to break her concentration. She does not want to pull Carmilla away from the world which she seems to get absorbed into when she plays. Instead, Laura fishes around for some stray dollar bills in her bag and pulls a few out, tossing them into Carmilla's case and walking away with her hands shoved deep into her pockets.  
She checks the forecast the moment she gets home and feels her heart skip a beat when she sees the animated clouds forecasting the weather for the next day. Rain.  
    When she hears the precipitation on the side of the building the next day, Laura's mood improves exponentially. It had been a slow day and she had gotten yelled at by some idiot customer after she had told him that his fancy porsche which was parked literally in the middle of the street was parked illegally. She wasn't absolutely sure that Carmilla would show up obviously, but she seriously hoped that she would. As she began wiping the tables down for the night, she hears the chime of the door.  
"I don't suppose there's anything a girl could do to get a cup of coffee at this hour, is there?"  
And there's Carmilla, soaking wet again but sporting a grin on her face as she absentmindedly flicks damp hair off of her face. Laura finds herself smiling as well as Carmilla sets her things down on the floor and sits down at the same table which she had occupied on the first night that they talked. Laura fetches the coffee and sets it down in front of Carmilla, who she finds attempting to wipe a muddy boot print off the floor with a paper napkin. Laura shakes her head and tells Carmilla not to worry about it before sliding into the chair across from Carmilla's and resting her head in her hands as she leans heavily against the table. They share a companionable silence, Carmilla leisurely sipping at her coffee and periodically tapping her fingers against the table in some made-up rhythm, rocking her foot back and forth on the floor in time to the beat. She eventually starts humming as well and Laura recognizes the tune as the new song which she'd been too afraid to ask about the night before. Swallowing, she looks up from staring at Carmilla's hands and into her eyes.  
"That's a new song." She states, smiling when she sees Carmilla raise her eyebrows in surprise.  
"It sounds less sad than the others." Laura adds, hoping she hasn't crossed some sort of weird musical boundary in voicing her thoughts. When she sees Carmilla smile in response she lets out a breath she hadn't quite realized she'd been holding.  
"It's about something that makes me happy."  
"What's that?" Laura asks, expecting nothing but at the same time secretly hoping that the song has something to do with their chance encounter.  
"The rain."  
Laura feels her heart jump into her throat as Carmilla takes another long drink of coffee while giving her this terribly innocent look. It's quiet for a moment before Laura finds herself asking Carmilla another question.  
"So is that what you always wanted to do? Write music?"  
Carmilla nods.  
"My parents always discouraged it. But it was what I wanted. In the end, I chose it over them." She shrugs. "Family isn't always those who give you a roof over your head."  
Laura stares at Carmilla's hand lying on the table and desperately wants to reach out and take it in her own.  
"What about you?" Carmilla asks suddenly, moving her hand to rest under her chin as she balances it on the table.  
"What about me?" Laura responds, furrowing her brow slightly at the question.  
"Did you always want to be a waitress?" Carmilla jests, letting her hand fall to the side.  
Laura shakes her head with a sad half-smile.  
"No. An artist, actually."  
Carmilla raises her eyebrows.  
"Are you any good?"  
"Yeah." Laura says, because she'd decided a long time ago that she was done pretending to be modest about her art. Because she is good, she knows that she's good and she doesn't like feeling like she's fishing for compliments.  
"Did you go to school for it?" Carmilla adds, and Laura wishes that the question did make her heart wrench painfully in her chest.  
"For a while." She answers truthfully, glancing down at her hands folded in her lap.  
Carmilla laughs.  
"What, was the system getting you down or something?"  
Laura shakes her head.  
"No, not at all. There were just... unforeseen circumstances."  
Carmilla nods like she must understand that kind of thing and doesn't press Laura for any more information.  
"So, why get the job here?" Carmilla asks, changing the subject to avoid treading on what may be a sensitive subject.  
Laura finds herself smiling as she answers the question.  
"My dad owns this place."  
Carmilla raises her eyebrows.  
"Do you get free coffee then?"  
Laura laughs and nods.  
"I guess so."  
"Do I then, by extension, also get free coffee?"  
Laura laughs and thinks about calling Carmilla a freeloader before changing her response.  
"Only when it rains."  
  



	3. Company

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I meant to get this written before Christmas, but life got in the way. it's Christmassy, but hopefully you've got some xmas spirit left in you.

Chapter Three: Company   
    Carmilla starts coming in more often, stopping by nearly every night when she has the chance, not only when it's raining (although Laura does hold her promise and gives the girl free coffee every time that it is precipitating). The days are growing shorter and colder and the holiday season is suddenly creeping up on Laura, reminding her of how little money she has to spend on the people that she loves. Her roommates will understand of course, if they get little more than an IOU to clean the bathroom and a small gift, but Laura still feels bad. Before she knows it it's Christmas Eve and her tentative friendship with Carmilla has been going on for almost a month and there's a fine dusting of snow on the ground that makes the whole city look like something out of a fairytale.   
Her father had closed earlier than normal, claiming he wanted to get to bed early in order to prepare for the holiday the next day, but his only plans were to briefly meet with Laura so she knew he was lying. Ever since they had lost her mother, the holiday season had lost some of the excitement which it had once held. She had loved Christmas when she was still there, had always made a big show of everything. She even continued to address half of Laura's presents as "From Santa Claus" long after the girl had realized that all of the presents were in fact from her parents, and that a jolly man clad in red did not squeeze himself down their chimney every Christmas Eve to leave presents under the tree which they kept in their dining room.   
Carmilla was putting her guitar into its case when Laura walked by. She stopped, her hands shoved in her pockets as she breathed out clouds of smoke into the cold night air.   
"I was on my way to come see you."   
Laura shrugs and burrows her hands impossibly deeper into her own pockets.   
"We closed up early."   
Carmilla nods and stares at her boots quietly for a moment before a loud laugh escapes her mouth.  
Laura furrows her brow.  
"What?"   
Carmilla shakes her head and laughs again before answering the question.  
"I got you a Christmas present. But it's just- I mean I don't even celebrate Christmas but..." She trails off, shaking her head again. Laura cracks a smile.  
"What, too cool and disaffected for Santa Claus?" She jokes, feeling her heart pound in her chest at the thought that Carmilla had thought about her enough to get her a gift.   
"Try 'too Jewish'?" Carmilla laughs "But I guess cool and disaffected and Jewish are basically synonymous, right?"   
Laura finds herself nodding and putting on a mock serious voice to answer the question.  
"Oh, definitely."   
They find amiable silence in the next moment as Carmilla rummages around in the deep pockets of her jacket.   
"Here. I didn't wrap it or anything but..." She trails off, handing a small moleskin notebook to Laura.   
"For your art." She explains, a sheepish grin spread across her face. Her hand lingers when Laura reaches out to take it and their fingers brush, both of their eyes shooting up to meet.   
"Maybe you could draw me sometime." Laura nods but says nothing, afraid that the words I already have will explode out of her mouth and she'll make a total fool of herself and mess up whatever this blossoming thing she has with Carmilla is. She takes a shuddering breath and carefully tucks the notebook into her bag. Carmilla stands there quietly, shifting her weight from foot to foot as she messes around with her guitar straps.   
"I guess I'll be going then. Merry Christmas, Laura." Carmilla says with a sad sort of smile, sticking out a hand for Laura to shake. Ignoring it, Laura steps in closer and wraps her arms around the slightly taller girl tightly, waiting to let go until Carmilla has tentatively wrapped her arms around Laura's midsection before letting go and laughing quietly. She apologizes with another laugh and wipes tears she hadn't realized had been forming from her eyes.   
"Hey, did I do something wrong?" Carmilla says suddenly, replacing one of Laura's hands with her own and wiping a stray tear off of her cheekbone.  
Laura shakes her head.  
"No, no. It was just... It's so nice that you thought of me." She stammers, shrugging as she sees another smile beginning to form on Carmilla's face.   
"Hey, you don't have to say yes, but my friends are having some thing tonight? Do you maybe wanna-" Carmilla interrupts her with a swift shake of her head and another shift from her right foot to her left.   
"I wouldn't want to intrude."   
Laura gives her her best puppy dog eyes and tries again.   
"C'mon Carm-" she says, glancing at Carmilla to gauge her reaction to the nickname.  
"They're all coupled up anyways. These things all end up with me sitting there as all my friends make out with each other."  
"And you want me to be there to do what? Make out with you?" Carmilla deadpans, seemingly not noticing when Laura almost chokes on her own saliva because actually yes, that is exactly what she wants.   
"No! I mean not that making out with you would be a bad thing!" She stammers, taking her hands out of her pockets and gesticulating wildly as Carmilla gives her this look that she can't quite describe.   
"Just uh- for company, I guess?" She shrugs.   
Carmilla's silent for a moment before echoing  
"For company?". Laura nods.   
"Yeah."   
"Okay, but you owe me." Carmilla jokes, following Laura as she grabs the other girl's hand and starts to lead her in the general direction of her apartment.   
She lives fairly close by and it only takes a few minutes to walk the several blocks to the apartment which she shares with LaF and Perry, but in that time she and Carmilla manage to cover a strange amount of talking material, having started out with the strange myth of Santa Claus and ended up discussing whether or not it's possible that what you think is real life is a dream and what you think is dreams are real life. Carmilla is talking about multiple realities and what real even really means when they get to Laura's building, and Carmilla looks so excited to be talking about this kind of thing that Laura feels almost sad to stop her.   
When they get upstairs LaF is already halfway to drunk and Perry is already apologizing for everything they say and Danny and Kirsch are arguing about sports teams which probably means they'll be making out within ten minutes. Everybody stops to look at the pair expectantly when Laura walks in with Carmilla and she introduces her to the group, shooting LaFontaine a look when they start to waggle their eyebrows at her. So yes, maybe Laura had mentioned Carmilla a few times. And there was a slight possibility that she maybe may have possibly mentioned that she was kind of sort of maybe in love with her. Laura makes a split second decision to absolutely not let Carmilla be alone with a drunk LaFontaine because she knows, after a horrifying encounter in which LaF had told an ex-girlfriend of hers about The Bread Pudding Incident that drunk LaF cannot be trusted to not say exactly the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time. She offers Carmilla a drink, which the other girl politely accepts and awkwardly leads her to the couch spot farthest away from LaFontaine where she tells her to wait while she gets her a drink.   
Less than an hour and several drinks later and the line of "tentative friendship" has definitely been crossed. Laura has somehow managed to find herself with her head in Carmilla's lap and Carmilla is stroking her hair in this absolutely delicious way while she holds a halfway decent conversation with a mostly drunk Danny about something that Laura is finding increasingly boring when she halfway drifts off and only jolts awake when she realizes that LaFontaine has joined the conversation and the term "Laura in high school" has been thrown into the mix and suddenly she's sitting up fully and clapping a hand over her own mouth as LaFontaine tells possibly the worst high school Laura story that they could have conjured up.   
"So anyways," they continue, biting back laughter, "we all find Laura after like forty five minutes and she's absolutely..." they trail off as the laughter escapes out their mouth and they gesture for Danny to finish the tale as Carmilla looks on at them with a facial expression that's halfway between a smile and a look of pity.   
Danny chuckles and looks to Laura for approval before continuing, only speaking when Laura shrugs and figures that they may as well finish the story so she herself doesn't have to explain it to Carmilla later. Danny shrugs back and turns to Carmilla to finish telling the story, pausing when they hear Perry drop something in the kitchen but ultimately continuing where LaF had left off several seconds before.   
"Anyway, at this point Laura has been wandering around the forest in the dark for like forty five minutes and she's fucking baked," Laura tries to protest and say that she really wasn't all that high and she had only eaten like, three of the brownies in question so really it wasn't like she was all that high at all but everyone shoots her a look and Danny reminds her that she had somehow come back with a sock full of frogs in her hands so she quiets and rolls her eyes when even Carmilla begins to laugh at the story. Somehow after Danny and LaFontaine have managed to tell the rest of the story with only switching a few times to laugh hysterically, Carmilla hasn't bolted in fear. It grows later and they're all swapping stories, Carmilla telling a few about her own bizarre high school experience. Laura tells Carmilla about the horrific disaster that had been LaFontaine cutting their own hair in the sixth grade and Perry butts in half way through the story to try to insist that it really wasn't that bad, even though they all knew it had been.   
By the time Danny and Kirsch have left and Perry and LaFontaine have retreated to their bedroom, it's almost 2 in the morning.   
"This was fun." Carmilla says, leaning against the doorway on her way out.   
"You'll have to come back some time." Laura replies, throwing a glance behind her to the living room. "I think they liked you."   
Carmilla starts to say something just as Laura blurts out a hasty   
"Are you sure you don't want to stay, it's late." And they both end up laughing as Carmilla shakes her head and insists that she really only lives a few minutes away.   
"Merry Christmas, Laura."   
"Merry- um. Happy Holidays Carmilla." Laura starts before remembering what Carmilla had said earlier.   
Carmilla murmurs her thanks as Laura goes in for another hug, squeezing Carmilla tight before stepping away, her cheeks bright red with a blush.   
"See you soon?"   
Carmilla nods.   
"You know where to find me."  
Laura lies in bed a few minutes later, staring at the ceiling and wondering why she hadn't kissed Carmilla when she had had the chance. She promises herself that she will, sometime.   
Carmilla sits by the small window in her apartment wondering why she hadn't kissed Laura when she had been standing in the doorway. She strums out a new tune on her guitar, half formed lyrics jumping around her head. She promises herself that in the future she'll gain the nerve to tell Laura how she feels, maybe even kiss her if she gets the chance. For now, she muses, she's fine just being company.   
  



	4. Now That I Know You More

Chapter 3: Now That I Know You More  
  
    "Can I see you sometime?" Carmilla asks one day as Laura occupies her usual spot across from her at the table where she'd come to slouch and have a coffee nearly every night that she could in the past few weeks since Christmas.   
"You're seeing me right now."   
Carmilla rolls her eyes and stares into the dregs of her coffee, a faint blush gracing her normally pale features.  
"Not here. And not out there either." She replies, gesturing vaguely to the direction from which she had come that night and every night before it.   
"Like a date?" Laura finds herself asking nervously, her hands pattering out a disjointed rhythm on the table. Carmilla smiles, one of those real, genuine smiles that Laura only sees every so once in a while. When Carmilla smiles it's almost like the sun peeking out from behind the clouds, beautiful and light and perfect but horribly temporary. Laura thinks that she should smile more, but she would never tell Carmilla that.   
"Yeah cutie, sort of like a date." Carmilla replies, her teeth pulling at her lower lip in this absolutely devastating way.   
Laura finds herself nodding maybe a little too vigorously at that. She tries to regain her cool by playing coy, but she knows that Carmilla probably thinks she's a huge dork anyway.  
"Where would you be taking me on this date?" Laura asks, trying her best to cock her head at Carmilla and look up at her through her eyelashes which she's pretty sure she's heard is supposed to be sexy or alluring or something. (But then again, she's pretty sure Carmilla possesses enough sexy and alluring for the both of them and then some).   
Carmilla shrugs and gives her a cool smirk, immediately displaying just how sexy and alluring she can be. (It's not a smile, but it's close).   
"I can't tell you all my secrets, can I? I'd lose my air of mystery."   
And god if she isn't the single most attractive person that Laura's met in her short and shitty life.   
Laura laughs and rolls her eyes at Carmilla, dropping the coy act to push affectionately at her arm as she talks.   
"Can I at least find out when our mysterious date is?"   
Carmilla looks thoughtful for a moment before answering.   
"I'm not sure. To be honest I didn't think you'd say yes."  
Laura feels her eyes bug out of her head slightly at this because who in the world would pass up the chance at a date with Carmilla?  
"Not as vain as you pretend to be, huh Karnstein?" She replies, smiling when Carmilla rolls her eyes at her.   
"I don't know, Hollis. Maybe I'm just kind of in awe of you." And of course Carmilla has a sweet and sort of perfect reply to Laura being kind of a jackass, because that's how these things always seem to work.   
Laura almost laughs.   
"Me? You're the one who's unfairly sexy and confident and sings like a dream." She feels her heart speed up as Carmilla gives her another one of those patented genuine smiles.   
Carmilla shrugs and leans back to prop her feet up on the chair adjacent to her.   
"You're just so... unapologetically you." She says, crossing one heavy boot over her lap.   
"What's that supposed to mean?" Laura asks, her breathing slowing as Carmilla stares her in the eyes.   
"I mean- It's just that you don't seem to care what other people think about you. And not in an obnoxious, cocky way." The lines of her face seem somehow softer as she stares at Laura at something she thinks might be akin to love.   
"Like... you don't care if people don't like your choices. You make them anyways and leave them to pass judgements that you couldn't care less about because you're just very- sure of yourself, I guess?" Carmilla says, choosing her words carefully as to not accidentally offend Laura. She seems to have a talent, she believes, for always managing to say exactly the wrong thing at the wrong time. Laura seems to think the opposite.   
Nobody says anything for a minute, Carmilla looking at Laura cautiously as though she's about to express some negative emotion about the things that she's said about her.   
"You know that first time when you came in and I said I wasn't good with words?" She says suddenly, and Carmilla nods.   
"And you said that sort of poetic thing where you were like... you said it was easier to think of the words to say after something has already happened?"   
Carmilla nods again, the wheels turning in her head to try to figure out exactly where this conversation is headed.   
"I've been trying to think about some things I want to say to you."   
"And?" Carmilla prompts, refusing to break eye contact with Laura even when the other girl tries to stare off at the fading paint job on the wall.   
"And I'm not quite sure I've found the right words yet."   
Carmilla nods slowly.   
"Friday." She replies, suddenly remembering what had brought them here in the first place.   
"What?" Laura asks, her brows furrowing slightly in a sort of adorable way.   
"At 7:30. I'll be picking you up."   
Laura then smiles, laughing shortly at having forgotten what the point of their conversation was about anyway.   
"Friday at 7:30 it is."  
    Friday, it would seem, comes far too fast for Laura's liking. When she gets home that night she absolutely gushes to LaF and Perry about how Carmilla had finally asked her on a real date, to which LaFontaine had replied with a snarky   
"It was about time, Hollis".   
She enlists both of their help to find a perfect outfit on Thursday afternoon because she doesn't want to be scrambling at the last minute to find something to wear and she wants to try to look as good as she possibly can for her date with the single most attractive person ever. They find something which Perry describes as "casual but classy" and LaF describes as "smoking hot" and Laura hangs it up in her closet, ready to change into the next evening. When Carmilla texts her on Friday at 7:28 to tell her that she's waiting outside her apartment, Laura is just putting on her shoes and suddenly gets incredibly nervous that she looks like as much of a mess as she feels and that Carmilla will take one look at her and reject her and realize that asking her out on a date was a terrible decision.   
"She's here." Laura says in a panicky voice to LaF, who lays sprawled out on Laura's bed.   
"Satan's in the room?!" They joke, casting their eyes around mock-frantically before laughing at their own stupid joke.   
"No you idiot, Carmilla is here." Laura takes a deep breath and smoothes down her dress.   
"How do I look?"  
LaFontaine doesn't look up from whatever they're doing on their phone.   
"Just as great as you looked when you asked me two minutes ago, you narcissist."   
Laura rolls her eyes and grabs her purse from the nightstand in her cramped bedroom and muttering a rushed "Okay. Thank you. Bye!" over her shoulder to LaFontaine who stays in Laura's bedroom even as she leaves.   
Laura rushes down the stairs, almost tripping and falling on her way down but managing to reach the ground floor without any incident. Carmilla is standing outside in the crisp night air, her hands shoved deep into the pockets of her coat and her eyes turned up towards the stars as she waits for Laura.   
"Hi." Laura says breathlessly as she approaches Carmilla, who slowly turns her head away from the sky to look at Laura.   
"Hey. You look-" She trails off, scanning her eyes over Laura's body in a way that flatters rather than offends her. "Stunning." Carmilla finishes, her smile shining brightly in the light of the street lamp above them. She exhales and Laura can see her breath in a puff of white vapor which quickly disappears.   
"You don't look so bad yourself."   
Carmilla smirks and takes her hand, leading her towards her car. Her hand is warm and her fingers are calloused from years of guitar playing, but Laura feels as though there's not another hand she would rather hold.   
    They end up in a quiet little restaurant that smells like fresh bread in a nice part of town. Carmilla, it would seem, happens to be a regular there and the owners of the restaurant seem to be ecstatic to see her, fussing over her and Laura and making sure that they get a quiet table and perfect food, partially because they love Carmilla and partially because she's pretty sure she catches the other girl smiling and mouthing "it's our first date" when they ask about who Laura is.   
They talk about small things and big things and things that they've already talked about and things that they haven't.   
"So what about your family? Got any siblings?" Carmilla asks her as they discuss how Laura had somehow managed to keep all her friends from high school.   
She shakes her head.   
"No. Growing up it was just me and my parents. Now it's just my Dad and I." She shrugs. "My mom was a little... messed up I guess? She had a really awful childhood and..." Laura stops talking abruptly and stares at her plate.   
"What about you?"   
"I have a younger brother. Will." Carmilla answers, taking a sip of her water.   
"Do you guys get along?" Laura asks. She had always wished that she had a sibling growing up, had even asked her parents if she could have one on several occasions. They had gotten her a fish.   
"He's an asshole." Carmilla replies simply.   
"Oh." Laura replies, opening her mouth to ask another question.  
"But I love him." She finishes, going on to tell a story about a time when she was nine and Will was seven and he had "accidentally" broken her arm during some sort of violent game that involved the two of them pretending to be vampires.   
She hasn't been in love in a long time. It's possible, in fact, that she's never been in love at all. But the more she gets to know Carmilla, the more times she watches as her face lights up when she recounts a story or talks about something she's passionate about, the more she thinks that she may be able to fall in love with her. She'd kissed Danny once in high school because she thought she was in love with her. She had tasted like the strawberry popsicles they had been eating and her sweaty flesh had felt clammy and somehow wrong under Laura's palms, but she had kissed her anyways. She had thought for a long time that she had been in love then, at seventeen, clumsy and reckless and just barely aware of her own sexuality. She had dated girls in her brief stint at college but had never felt the connection that others seemed to find, only sinking disappointment when they said "I love you" and she couldn't say it back because it simply wasn't true.   
If Carmilla were to say "I love you" now, she might just be able to say it back. 


	5. more than begin (but less than forget)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> people feel real human emotions, sometimes.

Carmilla drives her home from their date quietly. It's hardly silence, not with the way Laura can hear every breath she takes and with the way Carmilla is lightly tapping out a beat on the steering wheel as she navigates them back towards Laura's building. Carmilla, it would seem, is engrained with music. Even when she doesn't have an instrument in her hands she always seems to be tapping a foot or drumming her fingers or humming out a half-formed melody under her breath. It's part of what makes Laura so drawn to her, she thinks.   
 Laura had taken to absentmindedly doodling on the corner of her napkin with a forgotten crayon during their date. She had looked up to see Carmilla giving her this look that she couldn't quite describe.   
"You're very beautiful when you're concentrating."   
And there was something about that honest moment of candid affection that toppled Laura directly over the edge from tentative affection to something closer to love. (Laura had blushed possibly the deepest shade of red which Carmilla had ever seen on a human being at those words, and she had tried not to laugh at the dorky, beautiful girl in front of her).   
Laura was clumsy and prone to dropping things and losing her train of thought two-thirds of the way through every idea that she'd ever had in her life, but Carmilla found it all strangely endearing. On anybody else, she may have found Laura's small quirks annoying, even infuriating. But it was hard to see the flustered look that Laura got when she spilled coffee everywhere or tripped over a chair and not want to smile. It was a cliché to even think it, she knew, but Carmilla swore that Laura was the song she had been meaning to write all her life. Even thinking the thought practically made her want to gag and possibly ban herself from making a creative piece of media ever again, but it was shockingly true.   
At first, all the songs after everything had been angry. They had been harsh chords and dissonance and had just been angry and red. Later, she had only been able to write heartbreak and sadness and songs that sounded more like the color grey than anything else. Ever since she had stumbled into that tiny diner on a rainy night and had been given coffee by a girl who had stood in the shadows and admired her for months, Carmilla had finally been writing what she thought was the music she had wanted to write all along. It was cheesy and a cliché and she would never even think about telling Laura that in as many words, but it was one of the only truths that Carmilla had ever known. She was in love with Laura, and it showed.   
"Can I ask you a question?" She finds herself saying, looking over at Laura as she stares out the window at all the cars rushing past them.  
"Anything." Laura replies, dragging her eyes away from the window to stare at Carmilla's profile as she keeps her eyes fixed pointedly on the road.  
"So, your art is really good." She says glancing over at Laura just as a small smile tugs at the corner of the other girl's lips.   
"That's not a question." And suddenly Carmilla is afraid to ask the question she was going to because it might seem rude or insensitive but now she's basically dug herself a great big hole and if she lies now and makes something else up it's going to show.  
"It's not." Carmilla agrees, looking away from Laura.   
"So? What's the question?"   
Carmilla feels her mouth go dry because really she shouldn't have thought to ask this question at all but Laura says her name with a question from the other side of the car and finds herself blurting it out. She thinks about saying how Laura has probably filled up her question quota for the night with that one remark, because really she had just asked two questions.  
"Why aren't you... pursuing it?"  
Laura is silent for a few minutes. Carmilla feels like a jackass.   
"I had my chance already." Laura replies, staring down at her hands. ( _Stupid, useless hands._ )   
A silent question still hangs in the air but Carmilla chooses not to pry any farther than she already has. She already feels like she's violated something deeply personal and they've only had one date.  
 _Way to go, Karnstein._   
"Laura I-" She starts, trying to apologize for something she's not entirely sure why she's apologizing for.   
"Don't? I don't want to talk about it, okay? Let's talk about something else. Anything else, really." Laura says with a laugh that doesn't sound like she finds any of this funny, at all. (Carmilla knows enough about anxiety that she can detect it in Laura's voice and she's terrified of upsetting her further.)   
Carmilla hunts around in her brain for something to say, anything to say that will change the subject but all she can think of are stupid facts that she's read on the internet and-  
"Did you know that some people think that goats discovered coffee?"   
Laura looks away from her hands.   
"What?" She asks, and there's a hint of genuine amusement in her voice, which spurs Carmilla to keep going.   
"Yeah, yeah. Um- There's this legend that this guy- Kaldi? I think? Was like... a goat herder or something, right?"   
Laura quirks an eyebrow at her and Carmilla glances at her before trying to focus some attention on the fact that she's driving a car.   
"Anyway, yeah he like... found his goats all like... fucked up and frolicking after they ate off of the coffee shrub or something. And he tried it himself and..." She trails off, realizing that the rest of the story is pretty self-explanatory.   
"And voila."  
Carmilla chuckles and turns onto Laura's street.   
"And voila." She repeats, timing her words with parking the car just outside Laura's apartment building.   
"Let me-" She starts, just as Laura chimes in with her own   
"So tonight was-"   
They both laugh and Laura has unbuckled her seatbelt and she notices that she's kind of unnaturally close to Carmilla's face and she knows that if she just surges forward for one second she could kiss her.   
She could kiss her, and it would be okay.   
It's crazy, because Laura has thought about what it would be like to kiss Carmilla since before she even spoke to her. And here she is, presented with kind of a golden opportunity to actually do it and she's not sure that she can. She was always so afraid, before she talked to Carmilla, that the mysterious girl with the guitar would be so much better than theory than in practice. When she first started getting to know Carmilla, she was afraid that she would be too much in love with the idea of her to actually fall in love with the real her. And here she is right in front of her, perfect and beautiful and funny and fantastic and kissable. Very kissable.   
And then she pulls back, just slightly. And what had seemed an electric moment of possibility has suddenly dissolved to awkward unfulfilled potential. And the car is silent.   
"I'm sorry for earlier." Carmilla says, and her hands have, for once, gone completely still in her lap.   
Laura shakes her head with a small laugh and Carmilla opens her mouth as if to keep speaking, but Laura cuts her off.   
"I could have had this huge deal." She says, taking a deep breath and turning to blow it out into fog on the window.   
"Laura..."  
"And I just, I got scared, you know? I got so scared to show people the things I'd made."   
(Carmilla knows what that's like, she knows the gripping fear. She remembers the pulse of a crowd all waiting for her to play _something, anything_. )   
"It was all too personal, you know? It was like my heart was on those canvases and I just couldn't... I couldn't-" Laura sounds close to tears and Carmilla is sure she's infamous for saying absolutely the wrong things. Part of her wants to say something funny, to make Laura laugh or smile or do something that's not stare out the window of her car with the worst kind of sadness distorting her features. But she doesn't want to invalidate Laura's legitimate silence either, she doesn't want to make Laura feel like she can't handle her sharing emotions. (Part of her knows that that's what she's always been the worst at doing. When push comes to shove, she's kind of a horrible listener.) She says nothing.   
"I'm a coward." Laura whispers, her hands clenched into tight fists. The car is growing colder by the minute.   
Her voice shakes with the threat of tears but at the same time, she sounds so angry with herself that Carmilla sees a little of her own rage in her.   
"You're not." She reaches out to put a hand on Laura's shoulder, caressing it softly.   
"We all get scared sometimes, right? I get scared." Carmilla fights the urge to reach out and wipe the stray tear she sees rolling down Laura's face.   
"I think you're brave to tell me."   
And suddenly Laura isn't facing away from her anymore. Her hand is still placed delicately on Laura's shoulder and there are still crystalline tears rolling down Laura's face, but her watery eyes are fixed on Carmilla's.   
(Carmilla still looks very kissable, maybe more so than before.)  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i haven't updated in like a solid three weeks. whoops. sorry for the long wait, junior year has been kicking my ass.   
> (hope you enjoyed this one anyways, kiddos)


	6. These Are Days (You'll Remember)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: did i ever mention I'm shitty at updating? I'm crap at updating. eek.  
> also this chapter contains copious amounts of texting which is... i know. but you know. bear with me

  
  
    Nobody had ever called her brave before. Not anyone important at least. Thinking on it, Laura thinks that maybe her high school english teacher had called her brave when she volunteered to go first on a poetry recitation that they all had to do, but it didn't really matter because he didn't mean anything by it. Carmilla called her brave, and it was for all the right reasons. It almost wants to make her cry, because she's never done anything to make her deserve somebody as perfect as Carmilla is. The fact that she borderline stalked Carmilla before she even managed to talk to her is probably a testament to just how much she doesn't deserve her.  

But then again, Carmilla had kissed her, not the other way around. So maybe, just maybe, Carmilla actually wants Laura as much as Laura wants Carmilla. Which would probably mean that they deserved each other, maybe just a little bit. She tries not to squeal in excitement as she enters her apartment where she finds LaF and Perry being almost revoltingly cute, as always. LaF looks up from the T.V. and lifts their head from Perry's shoulder, grinning wolfishly at Laura as she quietly closes the door behind herself.

"Hey Frosh, how was the date?"  
Laura rolls her eyes.  
"Don't call me that. We're not even in school anymore. And besides-"  
LaFontaine rolls their eyes back at her.  
"Answer the damn question, Hollis." Perry sits up a little straighter and leans forward towards Laura.  
"It was... good." She says with a small shrug, blushing furiously under the scrutiny of her friends. LaF scoffs a little.  
"No details? Where did she take you?  Oh my god, did you guys kiss? Please tell me you finally kissed her."  
Perry slaps LaFontaine on the arm lightly and frowns at them a little.  
"What, Perr? Laura- She talked to us for like twenty minutes about how kissable Carmilla was last night..."  They trail off as Perry gives them another pointed look.  
"But really Laura, please give us some details." Perry says, leaning forward again and divesting her attention away from LaF.  
"I don't know?" Laura says,  threading her hands together in her lap. "It was a date. A good date." Honestly she's a little hesitant to give them all the details because if she doesn't then the night belongs to her and to Carmilla, but if she tells LaF and Perry suddenly it's everybody's. And the more selfish parts of her want to keep everything to herself. Even if a part of her is jumping down excitedly and aching to just ramble on and on about Carmilla and the way her eyes looked in the low lamplight of the restaurant and the way she animatedly talked about her brother and about music and how she somehow knew when to talk and when to listen at the exactly right times and about how Carmilla kissed her.  
LaF groans and raps their hands on the coffee table in front of them.  
"Oh my god, Laura. You're being like... the vaguest person on the planet. At least tell me if  you kissed her. Please tell me you finally kissed her?" They say again, earning another pointed look from Perry.  
Laura smiles and nods her head softly. LaFontaine practically jumps off the couch and Perry gives her a smile and an encouraging nod.  
She's glad to have the friends she does.

* * *

  
    The next morning, she wakes up to a text from Carmilla.  
 ** _Still thinking about you. Last night was phenomenal._ **  
She smiles and runs a hand through her bed-head because yeah, of course Carmilla uses the word phenomenal in a text message and spells out the entire word "you" rather than using just the letter. She's almost tempted to send her back a text with the vowels omitted from every single word and the worst grammar she can think of, just to see how Carmilla would react. In reality, it takes her probably five minutes to formulate a response.  
 ** _I agree. last night was great. Hey what are you up to?_ **

She texts back. It's her day off and she's never actually seen Carmilla out playing before nighttime, so she hopes that maybe she's free this afternoon. Just to hang out. Or whatever. She wonders if the text seems to clingy.  
 ** _I'm at work. :/_** Carmilla texts back a few minutes later, and Laura furrows her brow, sending another text.  
 ** _Since when do you have an actual job lol._**

Laura pretends she's not waiting for Carmilla to text back within the next few minutes as she brushes her teeth and runs a comb through her unruly hair. She pretends as she readies a bowl of cereal that she doesn't feel the absence of a buzzing in her pocket. She also pretends like she really wishes that the toaster wasn't still broken. Because really, she's more a toast in the morning kind of girl than she is a cereal in the morning kind of girl. After what feels like an eternity but is really 7 minutes, Carmilla texts back.  
 ** _Maybe there are lots of things you don't know about me, cutie._ **  
Carmilla actually uses a comma in her text messages and Laura almost rolls her eyes.  
 ** _I think i should get to know where you work at least_**  
Laura opens up the browser on her phone and glances at a few headlines as she half-heartedly eats her bowl of cereal. She's interrupted from reading an article about expected snowfall when Carmilla texts her back.  
 ** _Promise you won't laugh at me when I tell you?_ **  
Laura smiles.  
 ** _You would never know if I did. :P_**  
She texts back, waiting a few seconds before adding  
 ** _But sure._**  
Finishing her breakfast, she exerts almost all of her self-control as she leaves her phone on the table while she goes to get dressed. She dresses casually, throwing on a pair of jeans which only have a few paint stains on them and slipping on a sweater.  
As she goes back to the kitchen, she sees LaFontaine hurriedly brushing their teeth in the bathroom. They're probably late for work. Again.

She slides into her chair in the small kitchen and turns her phone over.  
 ** _A fix it shop._** Carmilla has texted her back, and she does almost laugh.    
 ** _Really?_** Laura texts back, biting her lip.  
 ** _You promised you wouldn't laugh._** Carmilla texts back, adding a little sad face onto the end of her sentence. Laura does laugh at that. She almost responds before she sees that Carmilla has begun to type again.  
 ** _Besides_** , she sends **_I'm very good with my hands ;)._**   Laura finds herself laughing again as LaFontaine comes into the kitchen, groaning at the lack of coffee and plunking down in the chair across from Laura as they wait for some to brew.

"What's funny this early in the morning?" They grumble, letting their head fall into their hands.  
"Carmilla." Laura responds simply, shooting off a quick **_I'll bet_** to Carmilla.  
"What about her?" LaF asks, propping their head up in their hands  
"She works in a fix-it shop."  
LaF chuckles quietly and glances forlornly at their broken toaster.  
"Does she do toasters?" They ask hopefully, "I miss english muffins."  
Laura shrugs and tells them that she'll ask as they glance at the time again and curse, grabbing a travel mug of coffee as they dash out the door, untied shoelaces whipping behind them as they run.  
 ** _Hey, our toaster is broken. Could you fix it?_** She texts Carmilla a few minutes later. As Laura waits for a reply, she hunts through her room to find the small notebook which Carmilla had gifted her a few weeks before. Bored, she begins to doodle absentmindedly, almost sighing when she realizes that she's drawn Carmilla. Again. She checks her phone.

 ** _So you just want me for my skills?_ **  
**_Yes._** Laura texts back, _ **I've actually known all along. I just pretended to like you so that you would fix my toaster.**_  
Carmilla texts back a sad face 7 times.  
But seriously. LaF hasn't had an english muffin in weeks and it's starting to affect their behaviors.  
It takes Carmilla almost ten minutes to reply, presumably because she's working. Not that Laura was just sitting there waiting for a reply. Because she totally wasn't.  
 ** _I can't make any promises... but I can give it my best shot._ **  
Laura smiles.

 ** _I'll bring it over in a few minutes? Text me the address?_ **  
She opens up the web browser on her phone and tries again to resume reading the article which she had pulled up earlier.  
Carmilla texts her the address a few minutes later along with a message which reads:  
 ** _I just can't wait to get my hands in your toaster_**

Laura chuckles at that and stuffs her phone into her pocket, not bothering to change out of her paint stained jeans before she slips on her shoes and jacket before heading out the door, a toaster tucked under her arm.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please tell me what you think! nothing is more helpful than a little bit of constructive criticism, kiddos.


	7. you must've fallen from the sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So I haven't updated in a month. Yikes. Am I sorry? Yes, very. My sincerest apologies to anybody who was waiting for this, although I doubt anybody was too anxious about it.

  
  
A bell jingles as Laura enters the shop, searching around for Carmilla. It doesn't take long to find her, she's the only person in the shop and is at the counter, bent over and fiddling with a screwdriver inside some appliance that Laura can't recognize.  
"Hey." Laura says quietly, almost afraid to disrupt the concentration that Carmilla seems to have at screwdriving whatever it is she's fixing. Carmilla's head shoots up at the sound of her voice and she drops her screwdriver, cursing quietly and fishing it out of the thing she's dropped it into before flashing a radiant smile at Laura.  
"Hey. Sorry, I guess I didn't hear you come in." She says sheepishly, threading a slightly grimy hand through her hair.  
Laura returns the smile and shrugs.  
"So," she says, walking up to the counter. "somebody told me that you're very good with your hands."  
Carmilla leans forward and smirks, getting close enough to Laura's face that she's sure she's about to kiss her.  
"And my toaster is very, very broken." Laura says, pulling back with a playful smile just as Carmilla is about to reach her lips. Carmilla rolls her eyes and leans forward on her elbows on the counter.  
"So what's wrong with it?" Carmilla asks, pouting slightly at Laura rejecting her advances.  
"I don't know. It's fucked?" Carmilla's eyebrows shoot up at this and she gently takes the toaster from Laura's hands.  
"Fucked how?" She says, closing one eye and squinting into the recesses of the toaster.  
Laura rolls her eyes.  
"It doesn't toast the toast?"  
Carmilla stands up fully and opens her eye.  
"I got that, genius. Any idea why it broke?"  
Laura shakes her head. "None. That's why I brought it to a professional."  
Carmilla rolls her eyes and opens a drawer behind her, fishing around in it noisily until she finds a small flashlight. She clicks it on and shines it inside the toaster, frowning slightly as she does so.  
"What's the diagnosis?" Laura says as Carmilla frowns even harder at the offending appliance on the counter.  
"You're right." She replies, straightening again and clicking off the flashlight.  
"What?"  
Carmilla sighs and shakes her head.  
"It is fucked. Your heating element is shot to hell." She says definitively, blowing a stray piece of hair off her face. Laura frowns.  
"Can you fix it?"  
Carmilla pushes the toaster to the side with a shrug.  
"Maybe. I'd have to ask the guy who owns this place. But honestly? It would be cheaper to buy a new one, creampuff." Carmilla replies, leaning forward onto her elbows again.  
"But hey," she continues, taking one of Laura's hands into her own. "Since I probably can't fix your toaster... Let me take you out tonight?"    
Laura smiles.  
"Isn't there some three day rule or something? Our first date was only last night."  
Carmilla rolls her eyes at that, stroking her thumb over the back of Laura's hand.  
"I broke that stupid rule when I texted you this morning. And besides, it's not like we haven't been practically dating for weeks already."  
"Weeks?" Laura replies, looking up from their conjoined hands to look Carmilla in the eye.  
"Since Christmas, basically." Carmilla says definitively, nodding as she locks eyes with Laura.  
"Besides," she continues, "I've wanted you since the day I first noticed you watching me on the street." She says, smiling as Laura's eyebrows shoot up.  
"So two dates in two nights is only really making up for lost time, don't you think?" Carmilla leans ever closer to Laura's face, smiling at Laura's blush.  
"Okay."  
With that, Carmilla leans forward and kisses her softly, still rubbing her thumb over Laura's hands. She pulls back after a few moments and smiles.  
"Is seven okay?" Carmilla asks, finally releasing Laura's hands.  
"He should be. The accident was bad but the doctors say they expect him to make a full recovery." Laura laughs at her own joke as Carmilla tries hard to suppress a smile.  
"Shut up. But seriously, seven?"  
"Seven sounds great."  
Carmilla clears her throat and straightens up, obviously trying to regain some semblance of a cool attitude.  
"So, see you then?" Laura asks, biting her lip and turning on her heel to exit the shop. Carmilla smiles.  
"See you then."  
Laura is a few steps away when she hears her name called after her and she whirls around.  
"Yes?"  
"You forgot something."  
Laura checks her pocket briefly, and noting that her phone and keys are still firmly in their place she turns around with her brow furrowed.  
"I don't want the toaster back right now."  
Carmilla shakes her head and beckons for Laura to come back with a crook of her finger and a somewhat devilish grin. Laura thinks she knows what she forgot.  
"You forgot this." Carmilla says with a smirk, grabbing a fistful of Laura's sweater and pulling her in for another kiss. Normally, Laura's head is kind of full of all different thoughts at all times. But when Carmilla kisses her she finds that there's very little else for her to think about. Laura clears her throat and tries to control the blush which she can feel appearing on her cheeks.  
"Oh-" she says, smoothing down the front of her sweater, "I uh- I certainly wouldn't want to leave without that."  
Carmilla raises her eyebrows and runs her tongue over her lips. (A tongue, Laura can't stop thinking, that was just in her mouth.)  
"Certainly not."  
Laura nods her head again sheepishly, trying to stare anywhere but at Carmilla's mouth. Which is stupid really, she thinks to herself. She's been on a date with Carmilla which will turn into two dates after tonight. She should be able to think about kissing her, right?  
Carmilla must be practically reading her mind about the not wanting to think about kissing Carmilla again thing. She must be, because why else would she grab Laura's hand again and give her another patented smirk and reply with a nonchalant:  
"Laura, you can think about kissing me all you want."  
Laura splutters and she feels her face get even redder (if that's even possible), but Carmilla continues to speak.  
"You don't have to be embarrassed about it, Cupcake. Most people with girlfriends think about kissing them."  
Laura's eyes suddenly snap back to look Carmilla in the face and she feels her eyebrows recede practically into her hairline.  
"Girlfriends?" She asks, as if the word has given her an electric shock. Carmilla cocks an eyebrow.  
"Yeah, that's what we are, isn't it? Unless you don't want us to be- I mean, I didn't mean to label.." she gestures between the two of them and Laura sees fear and anxiety register on her normally calm features.  
"No, no," Laura interrupts her, smiling. "I like girlfriend. I mean, I like girlfriends. I mean-" She's cut off as Carmilla shakes her head and calls her a dork.  
"I mean... I like you as a girlfriend."  
Carmilla kisses her again quickly before pulling back and scrunching up her nose slightly.  
"I like you as a girlfriend too, cupcake." She suddenly glances at the clock, cursing quietly under her breath.  
"But you really should get going. My shift is over in a few hours and I've still got a lot of work to do."  
Laura smiles and finally walks out of the store, the bell tinkling again as the door quietly closes behind her. As she walks home, the word girlfriend is ringing in her head. Girlfriend. She has a girlfriend. She has Carmilla Karnstein as a girlfriend. Which is possibly the best thing that has ever happened in her life. Better than when her parents took her to Disneyland for her eighth birthday. Better, even, than the first time she was told by an art teacher that maybe she could really be something. Carmilla made her feel like she could be a better person. A better artist, a better friend, a better daughter. She practically squeals with glee as she approaches her apartment building.  
_Carmilla Karnstein is her girlfriend._

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed, feel free to chat w/ me about this junk on tumblr where I'm also carmillalives!


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